


Designation

by Nidodin



Series: Dog Days [2]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Peter is mentioned, Writing is so hard, all of my titles will be one word, based in season three, because titles are hard, i still just wanted to give juno a dog and thats it, most of them will be, still very short, vespa and buddy speak like once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nidodin/pseuds/Nidodin
Summary: The dog gets a name
Series: Dog Days [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608256
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Designation

Juno hadn’t realized until it was too late, that the dog had a name. In the week since Buddy had beset him as the caretaker, he’d been badgered by Rita to give it one, as that was the only thing it hadn’t settled in with. Juno had been keen on letting someone else handle it, but then he’d heard their suggestions;

_ “Barkley!” _

__ _ “No.” _

__ _ “Fluffles! No, Woofers!” _

__ _ “No.” _

__ _ “Salmon! Pierogi! Popcorn!” _

__ _ “N-What? No.” _

__ _ “Sorry, Mistah Steel, now I’m just hungry.” _

__ _ “Right. Are you done?”  _

__ _ “But your baby needs a name! You’ve had him for almost three days now and you haven’t picked a name!” _

__ _ “Ok, first thing, it’s not my baby, Rita, and two, it doesn’t need to be me that names it.” _

__ _ “Well i know that, Mistah Steel, but you haven’t said nothin’ but ‘no’ to any of my suggestions!” _

__ _ Juno gave her a pointed look. “Rita, you said popcorn.” _

__ _ “Your names have been quite… peculiar, Rita. Juno, what about Basil or Theron? Untamed names for an untamed dog.” Nureyev had been draped over the couch behind the table they sat at, but he’d peaked above the back of the couch to join their discussion. _

__ _ “Ransom, that’s just as bad. I’m not calling my dog something you’d call yourself for a mission. Plus he’s not all that untamed.”  _

__ _ “They’re good names, Mista Not-Ransom but they’re too long for Mistah Steel’s baby!” _

__ _ “Rita, he’s not my-” Rita interrupted him by lunging for the dog in his lap and sweeping it up into the air in front of her, crooning at it. “You’re just a sweet little bean that Mistah Steel needs to hurry up and name! We just need to find the right one, like when Ferdie in Scorpion Hamsters from Pluto meets one of those scorpion hamsters who’s far away from home and Ferdie has to help him get home and then later on names him Gizmo! And then they -” _

__ _ “Thanks Rita, and see? I’m sure there’ll be a name eventually. But I’m not naming him after food.” _

__ _ “You never know Mistah Steel! Franny has a cat named Pepper because she ate a ton of pepper as a kitten. It was the darlingest thing, Franny sent me photos when it happened! Poor kitty was sneezing for days.”  _

__ _ “Well, if he happens to get into anything besides sleeping on me or playing with you, let me know.” Juno gathered up his things and departed for his room, the small beast tottering after.  _

__ Rita had continued harassing him about it after, but Juno would let her talk as he usually did. He probably shouldn’t have, as now his dog only responds to the name  _ Baby _ . Despite Juno continuously reminding her that the thing wasn’t his baby, she’d called him that so many times that now he believed it was his name. Rita was absolutely delighted. Juno hadn’t realized it until the second time he’d heard her call to the dog. 

“Hey Rita?”

“Yeah boss?” 

“What’re you calling him?”

“His name’s Baby!” Rita looked from Juno to the pup, grinning.

“...What do you mean his name is Baby? You just call him that a lot, it’s not a real name.” 

“Of course it can be his name! It's the most adorablest name he could have, even better than any of the names of the cats in Cats Seven, where the -”

“Rita?”

“-Different cats are intelligent, like humans! And they each pick their own name to live in the human world and -”

“Rita!”

“- Right! Anyways Mistah Steel, your baby is named Baby!”

Juno raised an eyebrow. “And what about when he grows up and is, y’know, no longer a baby?”

“Boss, you can keep a name that might not fit anymore. It’s the sentiment! Plus it can be misleading, like he might grow up and be real mean to others, but he’s named Baby! The people we go after won’t know what hit ‘em! Of course, we’d have to teach him not to be mean to us, especially Mistah Ransom? But like Captain A said, he could be a guard dog and help on missions! I’m sure when he grows up he’ll be real big and he can take down people just as fast as any of the rest of the crew! We just have to teach him first, especially how to be careful cause I know sometimes we’ve gotta take people out but we shouldn’t kill anyone and I don’t think you’d appreciate that seeing as how he’s your dog and all, but -” Juno looked down from where the pup had ambled over to his feet and sat, staring up with big, bright eyes. Juno sighed.

“I really don’t think that’ll be any issue, Rita. He seems pretty smart already. I still can’t believe you managed to call him  _ Baby _ .” A small head knocked against his shin as it tilted. “Right. Sure. Might as well. Guess you can let the rest of the ship know he has a name now.”

“Sure thing Mistah Steel! I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to know!”

Juno raised a brow. “Yeah. Thrilled.”

* * *

“Ha! Steel it’s supposed to be a  _ guard  _ dog, not your kid. I know there’s some stuff to make up for but we could use a dog that could fight.”

“Hey! First of all, I didn’t choose to name it Baby, Rita just called it that enough for it to respond. Second, I’m sure a dog can still fight regardless of its name - there’s a few I’ve knocked out with dumb enough names.” 

The crew was gathered in the kitchen for another family meeting, and Rita had called attention to their charge’s new name by yelling it as soon as he walked in at Juno’s feet. Buddy seemed glad there was a name and amused by Juno’s vexation with it. Vespa had immediately begun to heckle Juno, as she did whenever she got the chance. The rest of the crew looked indifferent to Baby’s odd title, but were more surprised Juno had given in so easily. What they didn’t know yet, was that it was less that he had conceded and more that there had been no fight from the first time Rita called it that. Juno also had absolutely no willpower against most of Rita’s decisions, in general. They’d figure it out, eventually; everyone did. 

Another slight problem they’d run into with Baby’s introduction was his apparent distaste for Peter. There had yet to be any serious issue, but the dog would growl if he came near and resolutely did not let Peter pick him up. When Baby wasn’t alone with Rita, and Peter was near Juno, the small creature planted itself between them, acting like he wasn’t three sizes too small. It was almost funny - at least Juno thought so - that out of everyone, Peter was the one the dog didn’t like. Regardless, it came to a front when they met for family meetings, when they’d watch Baby trail in after Juno, and worm his way into a spot between them vigilantly. 

At this particular meeting, Juno had happened to take the seat next to Peter, and Baby scrambled over, compressing himself between their chairs and pushing his head into the side of Juno’s leg with a short huff. They weren’t surprised, but they both watched curiously as he sat with his ears up and chest puffed. As Buddy went through their next lineup, Baby remained resolute in his unnecessary duty and moved only once he was mentioned again.

“I would like to try and continue whatever training it was that he would’ve done, as before he found you, Juno, it was working. It still is working, but I’d like it to continue to work for us instead of others. I know none of us are qualified for training a dog, but we’re all smart enough to make it work. He’s already Juno’s so it’d be best for him to continue the majority, but it’ll take all of us to prepare him to join us. I’m sure he’ll be a lovely addition to any heist he can go on when he’s ready.” Buddy was right, that none of them had training with a dog, in fact, most of them were on the other end of it - being caught. Juno had always dealt with them easily, distractions or food and then down with a taser blast, but he also was fairly good with animals. He figured he could use some of what he did with the sewer rabbits back on Mars, but food rather than creds. 

The problem became training him not to hurt any of them, and also not run up to and attach himself to any marks. 

“Oh! Training him should be pretty easy, Captain A, he already  _ loves  _ salmon snacks-” 

“He what.”

“-and from what I can tell so far, he’s real smart! He already knows the basics and learns real fast! Between everyone, we shouldn’t have a problem!”

“Rita, when did you give him salmon snacks? Are dogs even supposed to have those?”

“Well the second night he was here, he came to play with me while I was watching a stream and I couldn’t play with him and watch at the same time so I got him to lay down with me and watch by giving him some snacks!” She looked over the table to where Baby sat and he tilted his head up at her. “It was the greatest day in your little puppy life, wasn’t it!”

“Rita you can’t just- no, nevermind, whatever,” Juno shot Nureyev a blank look and then turned back to Buddy. “We’ll take care of it, it’s fine. Are you sure you wanna keep a dog around? And you want  _ me _ to take care of him?”

“Juno, you should know by now I trust you enough to handle a dog and yourself. Just make sure to do it.” He sighed, and then nodded. 

When the meeting was over, Juno sat in the main room with Rita and helped her look over different training regimes they could follow, and decided what they wanted Baby to know. To Rita, the best part about Juno not being able to use electronics -even if he’d been getting better - was him not noticing some training that wouldn’t be specifically protective. He’d notice later on, especially when she wanted to train Baby to him but she’d be able to disguise it. The first thing she’d start on would be teaching him the layout of the ship.

**Author's Note:**

> I do plan to continue this I just write very slowly, so that's on me. I'll also have the next pieces be after a time skip bc as fun as dog training is, I don't want to write it. Thanks if ya'll read and comment/kudos is appreciated. Find me at tumblr @ Nidopul


End file.
